Simpsons99, looks like you only want to play video games to win.
And I respect that, but that's not the *only* thing you can do to enjoy video games.
I'll try to list all the video game related stuff that I enjoy doing, some of them I definitely enjoy much more than actual playing nowadays, so my suggestion is try some of this, I bet you'll find something that makes you feel better:
- Invite friends to your home and play together for fun
- Attend meetings to make new friends which share same interests (it's been years now I always go to MSX meetings in Argentina)
- Look for information on the internet about games/computer history, tips and tricks, manuals, interview with developers, etc
- Follow video game web sites, blogs, mailing lists, etc... try to contribute with stuff you know
- Download pictures or video game art and copy them (me and my gf like drawing)
- Download or rip the music you like and make your own compilation cd
- Collect video games, old computer/consoles, magazines, books (I like everything MSX related)
- Collect video game figures, toys, music, trade stuff with friends
- Create your own little video games, front-end, whatever you want if you are into programming
- Build your own arcade controls, or even a full arcade machine (this is time consuming but also relaxing and fun)
- Watch replays, superplay videos of other people and pay attention to every detail to learn stuff, try to discover stuff on your own
And there is so much more you can do... just get rid of negative thoughts and concentrate on stuff you like, make real friends, try to step away from the keyboard and do other stuff... here I only talk about video games because I don't know you, but I'm sure you have other interests as well... I guess my main suggestion is, if something is not working for you, just try something new.